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"You don't give your heart in pieces/You don't hide yourself to tease us." -Bethel Music & Steffany Gretzinger I struggle with listening to most CCM. I'm not saying that it's bad or anything, I just often find myself disconnected from lyrics that do not seem to carry a deep wound. I know other people who find CCM to be the balm they need because of their own wounds, but I have also found the mystery within the book of Job to be the most comforting book of the Bible during my deep depression several years ago. I am a bit of an Eeyore. It's not surprising that when my wife recommended the song Pieces by Bethel I was not thrilled. But I listened anyways. The lyrics were a great comfort, a remin

Not Prepared.

Loss is never easy, but it has been a regular “thing” at Hope Street. Please don’t think I take loss lightly. Sometimes when a Member is “asked to leave” the writing was on the wall. Things were said, done, seen that caused the decision to be made as a team to ask that member to leave Hope Street. There is an element of preparation. A date is given. A list of potential resources are given. Keys are handed over. Maybe a hug is given. The apartment/room is cleaned and prepared for the next person or family. There is preparation. It’s not easy. It’s not fun. But there is preparation. Amanda’s sudden death has rocked us all pretty hard: staff, members, and our consistent volunteers and board mem

24 Hours Earlier

24 hours earlier. I woke up Monday morning alarmed. I immediately checked my phone, worried that I had missed something tragic. Again. However, it didn’t take long for me to realize my head was still pounding, my eyes puffy and my heart was heavy. She’s already gone. Whenever something tragic happens at Hope Street it’s about the same time something goes off in my brain that says “you aren’t qualified for this” followed not long after that by “you’re not mature enough”. I don’t have the right answer, I can’t hold it together and I can’t separate my life and my “job”. Not when there is people involved. The part that sucks this morning, this isn’t Grey’s Anatomy. We weren’t inspired or challen

Non-Stop Prayer

(click the picture to watch the full video) "Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus" 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 I’ve been doing a lot of praying lately. Not that I don’t always pray, but I’ve needed to pray or else I haven’t been able to quite make sense of what I’m thinking, feeling, doing etc...there has been continuous dialogue lots of hand flying, tears, silence, few words, LOTS of words. It’s been sort of a trip. But I think a good one. I realize I probably don’t rely on communicating with God as much as I should. I normally designate time, whether it be before bed, before I eat, with a friend who ne