24 hours earlier.
I woke up Monday morning alarmed. I immediately checked my phone, worried that I had missed something tragic. Again. However, it didn’t take long for me to realize my head was still pounding, my eyes puffy and my heart was heavy. She’s already gone.
Whenever something tragic happens at Hope Street it’s about the same time something goes off in my brain that says “you aren’t qualified for this” followed not long after that by “you’re not mature enough”. I don’t have the right answer, I can’t hold it together and I can’t separate my life and my “job”. Not when there is people involved.
The part that sucks this morning, this isn’t Grey’s Anatomy. We weren’t inspired or challenged by a dramatic hour long show, instead we were left heartbroken starting at 7:30 am Sunday morning. This is our current reality.
There are no words.
None that will solve any problem.
We don’t want problem solvers, but if you want to be present - we have a spot for you.
Father, it says right here on my wall in my office, you bind up the broken-hearted. Please do that. Please cover and protect Kalyia and Andrea as they live in a world now without their mama. Give them peace past all understanding, hearts that receive your love and comfort in your arms.
Broken but not crushed.
Amanda moved in with her girls just over a year ago. When she got to Hope Street she could hardly put two words together. She was shy and introverted.
Over the last several months we watched her come out of her shell. She became a pillar in our community that people trusted, looked to, checked on and cherished. She would peek her head into staff offices and ask how we are doing. She cleaned the building and took ownership in having our community spaces look spotless.
Sunday morning she died suddenly from a health complication. She wasn’t previously sick. Members at Hope Street were with her and her girls until the ambulance arrived. Those same members cared for the girls until staff arrived. This wasn’t a drill, it was people inside Hope Street doing what we do best: community.
Amanda you are loved. You are beautiful. We are so incredibly honored to have known you. Thank you for leaving your mark. We miss you already! We will continue to love your beautiful girls and support them the best way we can. ♥️
Our community will be helping with the memorial service. If you would like to contribute to making that happen, you can give safely online through our website. All gifts are tax-deductible. Excess funds received will be used to help assure the girls have everything they need.