Today makes 3. 3 years. 3 years since I officially became the Executive Director of the organization I love. I was young(er) and ready for a challenge or so I thought..what I have had to unlearn is the desire to DO. The constant pressure to have something to present, to show that I have in fact done something, to answer that email like a text message, to meet with new people (an introverts nightmare), and simply the constant communication...all of those time and time again have nearly killed me. Not physically...but for sure emotionally and mentally. It’s like the never ending free throw...you practice time and time again...you just need to focus and make the shot. Only there is always another shot after you finish the first. This job never ends. It goes home with me, it wakes me up, it too often sets the pace. I’m aware those are things that time and experience teach you in regards to a healthy balance, but I haven’t had a ton of time to figure that out..so it’s been on the go.
The truth that keeps me rooted and at peace?
You're more than your hands do.
You're more than your hands have.
You're more than how other hands measure you.
You are what is written on God's hands: Safe, Held, His, Beloved.
(Ann Voskamp; The Broken Way)
My prayer today is simple. Father thank you for allowing me to have the
last three years. I’m not sure how many more years are ahead, but can I please remember what is true? Even and especially when everything else gets real loud and heavy...I am written on your hands, I am safe, I am held, I am your beloved. Period.
1, 2, 3 years ago I walked into an office I felt didn't belong to me. I sat and faced the wall...and thought "now what?"
The last three years have presented A LOT, for now I keep showing up...